Lying in Me..

Lying in me

Lying in me, as though it were a white
Stone in the depths of a well, is one


Memory that I cannot, will not, fight:
It is happiness, and it is pain.

Anyone looking straight into my eyes
Could not help seeing it, and could not fail

To become thoughtful, more sad and quiet
Than if he were listening to some tragic tale.

I know the gods changed people into things,
Leaving their consciousness alive and free.

To keep alive the wonder of suffering,
You have been metamorphosed into me.


-- Anna Akhmatova

| You |

You
--

I don’t feel like writing about you,
And yet I Do

You who pull yourself on,
Clad in white uppers
Beneath, the black bellows

You who come around me
At the dead of night
Various speeds, almost a shadow of

the zooming black car
Or the dragging white one
I stand, keep looking at you

Afraid, fearful, that if you
Look at me, I will live
And die too,

leaving my fingers trivial
These words inconsequential
You who walk around me

Wanting to give me a hug
Giving not still, being patient
Waiting for your time

Giving me time, why?
To enjoy your other shades
Not white or black alone

But those, my eyes
looking at you,
can see in your tears
and me wanting,

To shake hands with you
For your smile,
Alone, forlorn, walking, dragging,
On and on and on

Without me or my poetry
A sham, and yet I do,

Though I don’t feel like writing about you
Tell me why I do?
Though I don’t feel like writing about you,
And yet I do…

| Aapnara Bangaali |

Ajeeb Dastaan Hain Yeh,
kahaan shuru kahaan khatam,
Yeh manzilen hain kaunsi,
Naa woh samajh sake naa hum..

For a change i will not translate the above in Hindi, but this one pertains to the journey, that Hindu philosophy where the journey, its wonders and saga, keeps the travellers motivated to keep the walk going..Some days in that walk appears so excellent, full of life, shine and verve as if you were here for this precise purpose to live...

Today seems to be one such too! Though like the capricious clouds my moods change, yet it seems at least till now it still is. Thank you! Last night i was watching Iqbal and seeing the brother-sister chemisty in the movie, was remembering my own dear little one. She was in the capital of my country, that same time, hopefully taking another plunge of life.

When she was small, and i dont remember this story, but this gets repeated every now and then in our house's folk lore, she broke her leg. With a broken leg then, she went to her primary school admissions, won over the nuns at her missionary school with her zeal and bagged a seat in what was a critical thing in a small town then in the lives of our parents. A good education, they always believed, like most others, around the world, would give us both, sister and brother the fundamentals to walk forward in life.

I heard last week, that she sprained her leg again too. But look at her defiant self, she travelled to the capital, met her prospective match, and i hear things are going in the right direction too. When she called me to tell this, the first thing i felt was relief for her. Nobody can know this, but we, baba, maa, myself who are close to her, can only understand what she has gone or has been going through in life.

May god, baba lokenath give the right direction to her life. Out i spring from the bed after the call from home, try to make chowmein, fail miserably, ending up with a hotchpotch, walk out, flakes of snow oozed through on a sunny day, strange combination aint it.

I reach school, buy my daily quota of cigarette, and suddenly hear a bengali couple sprinkling away mishti, sweet bengali monotones at each other.

After a long time, more than 9 years of staying from the bengali environs in which i was groomed up, having travelled to north of india, mastered the art of functional hindi as well as the colloquial one, travelling to bombay for my job, and messing all that mastering too, having left home and the language that gives me the peace of my mind, when i hear songs in it, i asked them, "Aapnara Bangaali"..Are you bengalis!

You had to see the glitter in their eyes, the guy and the girl duo, pittsburgh residents, and deep within hidden a bengali soul, saying, haan, aamra kolkata theke..we from Calcutta, and then we introduce ourselves and then disperse as usual in the new-tech life of ours..

But i am touched, not by anything, but by that moment, in which i ask, not so usual of me to do, but still i did, "Aapnara Bangaali", and then they with glittering eyes answer, Haan, yes, Aamra Bangaali !!

Today thus to this ajeeb dastaan, to the land of the Royal Bengal Tigers, the strange story of "Aapnara Bangali!"

~Thank you..

.."Tis isnt life that matters, Tis the courage you bring to it"..

* A lady writes -- part of the matrimonial stuff, that she liked the above lines at my email signature. No extensions no interpretations.

* Lucky she, caught me at a time, when i got bashed by my advisor, my strategy paid, though in a risky way, now i know, what exactly is the thought going in his mind..

* But then, tis a time to walk the tight rope, and sail too!

Billy Joel sings in Downeaster Alexa:

So I could own my Downeaster "Alexa"
And I go where the ocean is deep
There are giants out there in the canyons
And a good captain can't fall asleep

I've got bills to pay and children who need clothes
I know there's fish out there but where God only knows
They say these waters aren't what they used to be
But I've got people back on land who count on me

So if you see my Downeaster "Alexa"
And if you work with the rod and the reel
Tell my wife I am 'trolling Atlantis
And I still have my hands on the wheel

Now I drive my Downeaster "Alexa"
More and more miles from shore every year
Since they tell me I can't sell no stripers
And there's no luck in swordfishing here.

I was a bayman like my father was before
Can't make a living as a bayman anymore
There ain't much future for a man who works the sea
But there ain't no island left for islanders like me...


So, for islanders like me, another life, another sail, what shall you call your ship, Senor Chatterjee?

~Is that how, they drag you in, every time, pity you Senor? :)

..Dreams of Glasses, for Vineet's Mother and Mine...

dheere jalna dheere jalna
zindagi ki lau pe jalna
dheere dheere dheere dheere, dheere jalna
kaanch ka sapna, gal hi naa jaaye,
soch samajh ke, aanch rakhna...

Today's post shall be an effort to capture this mood of mine. Let me not use any adjectives to describe or define it. Rather state some facts that have happened offlate in life. And end with a song's line i am listening to in Hindi as i write this out.

- Heard a lady i have always admired, having tied the knot too. Sure, i didnt have any expectations/dreams with her, but then, as long as you are untied, hope lives isnt it! Now its gone, Mr Chatterjee! Again, a close school friend and it happened in such a surreptitious manner, sometimes i dont just understand this essence of keeping things under the wrap by people at all, thats my only complaint, nothing else!

- She, the She of the poem below taught me real goodness. So did my sister and maa, some of the good-est women i think i will ever happen to walk by in life, sometimes i wonder, where will i be, when each of them are gone, sooner or later!

- I have also decided to keep my door ajar, wide open, for anybody to come and stroll by and leave, somewhere i dont know from where, this coming and going, and its affecting me, is no longer of concern to me. I rather enjoy the changing of these stations, people, and places.

- Last night, i thought of some of my most treasured childhood memories, grandfathers' places in Belur, the artifacts that laid bare on the way to the terrace, the TV shows that me and sis used to watch together...Where have all those days gone, and why do i even ask that question, for that matter!

- Work has stormed into my life, research, is this how they drill it into you, i am getting savvy with huge datasheets, loving the interface of MS excel, as i do a kind of boney, robotish socialising in my life in this city. I fear i am getting sucked into the lifelessness that pervades almost everybody around me..

- Vineet's Mother, and mine, share one common attribute. They cant think of how to live without their kid, V's mother wonders tells me that when she talks to me, and mine, tells me when i ring her home -- that she looks at the next door kid, and remembers intensely the long gone days, when swinging water bottles i used to go to school.

- There is nothing much more to report then, India lost, should not have, Mr Dravid, i am with you, these things happen, as always i am expecting you to learn from it and keep marching like the soldier, sister darling has like her yester years sprained her leg, just at a critical time of life, god's way of telling us how uncertain things can be, all the time..

This, to Vineet's Mother, My Maa and kaanch ka sapna -- dreams of glasses!

dheere jalna dheere jalna
zindagi ki lau pe jalna
dheere dheere dheere dheere, dheere jalna
kaanch ka sapna, gal hi naa jaaye,
soch samajh ke, aanch rakhna...

~dheere jalna, dheere jalna, dheere dheere dheere dheere, dheere jalna...burn slowly, burn slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, burn....

| She and I |

She and I
--

She has decided
to be fair with me
And I,
torment myself

As She
teaches me goodness too
And I,
Enjoying her classes

She,
is leaving it to other births
And I, a fool,
wonder which other?

She says,
one of the supreme power,
And I, dumb,
write out a poem instead

She,
I ask, can i father your child?
And I
Will she ever mother mine?

She,
refuses to show me her face
I, smile,
having seen it already

Tis of She and I,
two children, with us,
knock, knock,
Is anybody around?

--

to the "Chicken of the Sea"

Yes, they call it that, the Tuna Fish, and here is a recipe i created last night, for my burger fillings.

The international part of the recipe:

a. Buy the tuna fish.
b. Beware it smells, much like most sea fish, my first taste of that in Mumbai.
c. Put some Teriyaki Sauce in it, allow it be covered and be like that, for about half and hour.

The Indian part of the recipe:

a. In the vessel, oil, shredded onions, garlic and ginger tinklers, tomato gravy or shreds, a little carrot shredded again, some small green chilly, a little Meat Masala and/or Goan fish Masala, if you have some such at your disposal, and offcourse a little coconut powder and salt to your taste.

b. Please be aware, the oil goes first, warms, then goes, onion, then goes garlic and ginger, then the tomato, peas, green chilly, at the end the meat masala when the onion is a little browny, finally the coconut paste.

c. Take the tuna now marinated with the Teriyaki sauce and keep stir frying the same on the pan.

d. It dries up pretty fast, no excess water, take the fried fillings out, bake it on a microwave or a oven you have, and then spread some little cheese(preferably chedar or Italian parmesan i suspect)/butter on it.

e. Hopefully by now you have your burgers warm and ready, your cucumbers slashed, and your onions and anything else you would like to add as a raw filling prepared too.

f. Take the fried-baked Tuna Teriyaki, paste it on the burger, warm it again, or eat, depends on hungry you are...

So shall we call this the Tuna Teriyaki burger, just got to know something like this already exists, not the first one to test it out, and offcourse that was to the Chicken of the Sea - The Tuna Fish...

~Saludos, an evolving Chef at your disposal Ladies and Gentlemen! :)..

....defining a Poem...

"Poem"
--
I am like a distracted child
whom they drag by the hand
through the fiesta of the world.
My eyes cling, sadly,
to things...
And what misery when they tear me away from them.

--by Juan Ramon Jimenez, beautiful!

"Ain't your feet getting Cold !! "

On a solitary sunday afternoon,
Walking into his kind of permanent abode,
Slowly, but surely and steadily too,
the police-woman asked him,

Aint your feet getting cold!

Turning around, he noticed her,
Kind of plump, driving a cop-car,
wanting him to take the elevator
with her to the second floor, asking

Aint your feet getting cold!

Knowing not, how much to answer,
and what to omit, he just smiled,
Stopped, looking at his own feet,
not in shoes, but relaxed floaters

Sure it was cold outside, and those
fingers were stiff a lil bit,
but the feet of his, needed some airs too,
And how could he not offer them the same

Thus he replied,
i am tired of wearing shoes,
wanted to give them some airs,
yep, they might be a lil cold,

She smiled, left, a nice warm one,
and i, walk up, rest in peace,
wondering if indeed,
my feet was getting cold.

..Love & Left Overs...

So there you go with another definition of love, picked up from the movie, i watched today morning. Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

Says a character in the movie: "love ignites like a volcano, flows, and then slowly everything subsides, it is then the left over you have to deal with, and make choices, if you can live or not live without it."

Outside of this new definition, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, was nothing too great, i must pick up the novel to taste what happened in the Ionian Islands those times.

Offcourse here are a few goodies, you can surely watch the movie for:

a. http://www.captain-corellis-mandolin.com/main.html - the movie site, offers you an intriguing facility to write a love letter to somebody, pretty enigmatic way of sending somebody an e-version of a letter!

b. Penelope Cruz - how can i ignore her - ethereal, smooth, sensuous, in the movie.

c. In my dream destinations of some day doing a getaway, alone or hopefully with a suitable lady of my dreams, comes now the Greek Ionian Islands too. The scenic beauty of the place, reminded me of a place i had visited on the Konkan coast when i was in Mumbai, Harihareshwar, around 6 hours drive from Mumbai that is towards Ratnagiri district.


Beyond that, the more definitions of love i am lapping up these days, the better i stay out of it, its not at all my cup of tea!!

ps: Yet why do i always get embroiled in it -- hahahahah -- wish i knew, perhaps good i dont know!

Enjoy the mandolin!

~aquietchild.

..Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch....

Well i cant comment on which side of the above statement i shall take sides on, but then, heres a quick recipe i mastered..all courtesy, Vik, a new friend of mine..

Enjoy the kathi rolls, i intend to try the non-veg versions too, with some keema if that can be located anywhere.

Ciao!

Paneer Kathi Roll - Quick Recipe.

raw material:
buy milk.
buy lemon juice - white vinegar - any souring agent.
buy chick peas, gajaar shreds, peyaanj shreds, tomato shreds, hari meerch shreds,
get either and/or - indian roti-parathaa or mexican tortillas ( substitute of rumali roti)
u can buy some - basel sauce and/or coriander leaves/parsley leaves for some cool garnishing.

process:

a. milk ko aache se ubalo - fhir ubalte hue milk mein souring agent daalo aur fhir -- paneer ko bante dekho -- u might like to add some saffron color to the paneer - fhir channi se paani ko nikaal do paneer ko taiyaar rakho alag se.

b. in tawa peyaanj - tomato - ganjaar chick peas - garlic-ginger paste - a little salsa sauce if available - aache se stir fry karo...fundu saa..u can add a little bit of whatever indian masala combination and salt to the stir fry according to ur choice and palate.

c. fhir thora reddish ho jaaye - usmein paneer daalo aur usko fry karo -- it would be like a paneer bhurji thing that would be ready through constant ulatna palatna.

d. meanwhile on a different tawa -- put oil -- take the tortillas or the roti/parathas and usko thori se tel mein -- aache se seko...thora brownish ho jaaye usko alaag se raakho.

e. and keep wrapping it with the fillings prepared as in pt b and c and garnish with little dhaniya patta and serve hot....

f. alternative: make a few such and keep it in the fridge microwave mein garam karo aur dostoon ko khilaao...



~this to long left home, and my eternal love, then, who else but food!

| This place in the Ways |

This Place in the Ways--

Having come to this place
I set out once again
On the dark and marvelous way
From where I began:
Belief in the love of the world,
Woman, spirit, and man.

Having failed in all things
I enter a new age
Seeing the old ways as toys,
The houses of a stage
Painted and long forgot;
And I find love and rage.

Rage for the world as it is
But for what it may be
More love now than last year.
And always less self-pity
Since I know in a clearer light
The strength of mystery.

And at this place in the ways
I wait for song,
My poem-hand still, on the paper,
All night long.
Poems in the throat and hand, asleep,
And my storm beating strong!
--



i read a good poem after a lonnnnnnnng time!

~This to the poetess Muriel Rukeyser, then.

What do you leave someone with ?

What do you leave someone with?

--

What do you leave someone with?
Niceties, goodness, fairness
all virtues of life
What life, you talking about?

What do you leave someone with?
Touches, smells, textures
All virtues of living
What living, you talking about?

That life and living,
where, someone comes
and someone goes
what about blindness then

Going blind, deaf and dumb
Only with your ownself
One fine day

Leaving that self,
Life and living too,
yet still asking,
What do you leave someone with?
--

..Of, a few friends and Me...

Of, a few close friends and Me..
--

A few close friends
avoid me these days

The reason,
She told me once, I,
have not grown up one bit

I know, I should have
But i can't, for if i do,
damn, not me, but,
won't they miss themselves too!

Nobody to take their decisions
I know am wrong, Who knows
They like missing themselves too

Thus, A few close friends
avoid me these days
They their grown up them
Me, still the not grown up me.

--

~she,an unknown goddess, i landed up in life, thus a rose to her, this time!

..Raah pe Rahete Hain...

Raah pe rahte hain
Yaadon pe basar karte hain

Khush Raho Yahale watan
Hum to safar karte hain

Haan jal gaye jo,
dhup mein to, Saaya ho gaaye,

Aasmaaa koi kona, thora so gaye
Jo Guzar jaati hain bas,
Usi pe guzar karte hain..

Raah pe rahte hain
Yaadon pe basar karte hain

Khush Raho Yahale watan
Hum to safar karte hain

That's her in the picture singing. I wont be around, but she shall sing, maybe to others, maybe to herself, but i heard her singing yesterday on the phone too.

This after, she heard me, suggesting the song. And i talked to maa and i heard her hum the tune in the background.

It was when she was a toddler that the picture above was taken. She has lived life on her terms, as far as possible, given the constraints of a bengali, brahmin, middle class, towards conservative, indian family. Some of these categorisations carry no meaning to me increasingly in life, but then such is life, it carries no meaning too, and yet one has to live with it.

To her, again. She has endured fits of the deadliest diseases in life, each time, she was gone gone and going, and each time, she has come back. Be it when she was a toddler or when she was just flowering in her adolescent years as a growing woman.

She has seen life from the most sensitive corners of one's soul, travelling to a large city, savouring its myriad trappings, and the circus of people around, and has come back, and resided within the safety and sanctity of home. Today her sensitivities persevere with ruthlessness on the outside.

With time, i find her becoming that woman, who dedicates herself to life, and it is about time thus to make this prayer for her. Soon she might travel, may she travel oh lord, on her raahs of life again, and this time, put that song on her lips, pleasee!!

Praying for my lovelist sister darling, pucchu pucchu shona..

~aquietchild.

...a tribute to a Warrior's face...

A Warrior's Face


--
Spring waters flow,
Warmed by Father Sun,
Swelling beyond the keeping banks,
Leaching winter’s frosted ores,
Through spreading fingers,
Of the water’s course,
Renewing those, along its path,
That seem at first, to succumb,
Then emerge from the inundation,
With the strength of stamina,
And will to persevere,
Ultimately without complaint,
In understanding and appreciation,
Of the gifts of the tribulation,
As the water keeps its sacred task,
Cleansing Mother Earth,
Like the tears on a Warriors face,
Cleanse the soul.

-- from somewhere on the web.



In many ways this man amazes me.

- I am not in any sense a fan of him.
- I completely agree with people who tell me, that he is froggish on the cricket field.
- I know how severely constrained he is on unfavourable pitches, especially when he practices his art.
- When i look at others practising his genre, leg-spin, i also see how uncreative his bowling is.
- This man, married a divorcee woman, and fought for taking custody of her child from her first marriage, what courage! You ask me, what women want, that is what they want.

Thus to him, a selfless, unmarketed, completely hard working man, Anil Kumble this post shall be. Congratulations on your 500 wickets, Mr Kumble.

SS sent this rather lovely poem to me, this for you..

Suraj ki arunima, aansoon ki boondein
dher sari hawayen, kaliyon ki khusboo
ek pyara sa , sath bankar tumhara
tumhare es jeevan ko chand taron
ki chamak dekar,us kshitiz par
pahucha dein jahan se sirf aasma hi
aasman najar aaye,pair jamin par ho
par taron ka sang nazar aaye...

May god give you, your loved ones, the keys to heaven....

~Amen..

...she may be leaving forever, but the homework is still due...

so wrote a friend of mine, talking about his german live-in partner leaving forever for germany...absolutely true mate! lets take it this way, lets complete the sentence.....

...she may be leaving forever, but the homework is still due...and offcourse salsa dancing too.."




People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed...



shaanti shaanti om shaanti om shaanti...back from salsa class..some quick learnings shared:

a. its all in the mind.
b. its all in the touch during the swing and the fall.
c. the woman matters - incredible with 1st -- soo, sooo with the chirpy second - horrible with the last ...then i retired and danced around with myself!!! sharing the stealy glances with the first every now n then..:)

shaanti shaanti om shaanti!!! :

bob dylan sings things have changed..2 the salsa beats. attached. ensoi people!!!!

1234 - 5678. 1-2-3-4---5-6-7-8......



I hurt easy, I just don't show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity
Gonna get low down, gonna fly high
All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie
I'm in love with a woman who don't even appeal to me...


~this2thesoulofsalsa...

ps - remember, ...she may be leaving forever, but the homework is still due...and offcourse salsa dancing too..:))

..my first reference letter....

For whom it May Concern

Mr KSM and I share a similar educational lineage. In 2002 he completed his under graduate education in electrical engineering from the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT), Roorkee, India. This was a year after I had completed my under graduation from the same institute with a major in civil engineering.

I have observed K to be not only an attentive listener but also a diligent learner ever since my first interaction with him since 1998. These two traits of his, extended equally to the curricular training offered by an IIT, as also to the co-curricular elements that comes with a hostel life in an IIT campus. It is understandable, for readers of this reference letter, to have an apprehension of a bias in this assessment of Mr M. With this in mind, even before writing this letter, I had an extensive interview with him for over an hour. In that conversation, to buttress my conviction about him, I grilled him on his career history and goals. K impressed me again in that conversation, like he did the very first time I met him, with the clarity in his career objectives and his zeal to listen, learn and implement. The conversation left me convinced not only about my beliefs, but also in Mr M’s abilities and unquestionable eligibility to deserve a place in the CMU campus community.

After his engineering education, K joined the Indian Oil Corporation (IOC), the first Indian Fortune 500 petroleum company. This, despite having a safer option to join his own family business in Punjab, India. I believe such a step, shows his willingness to take risks in expectation of learning the details of business, real-time and on field, working as nothing more than a salaried employee of a large conglomerate. Those are the learnings he carried forward with him later on, as he joined the GS Group in early 2004, as a Director of business development. The GS Group, K’s family enterprise, is a diversified entity transacting in cement, automobiles and petroleum distribution with an annual turnover of $ 12.5 mn. This figure is around 0.04% of the annual turnover of K's previous employer, that of IOC. The shift in the quantum of business and responsibilities, K subsequently handled, is evident in this small calculation itself.

Contrary to perceptions, joining a family business brings with itself, huge responsibilities, a keen desire to succeed while taking measured risks, offering to an individual only a thin line of cushion between success and failure. While exuding an entrepreneurial urge, I find K excelling in all of these, delivering with élan in his new role. It is through individuals like him, that today, India’s emerging economy, expects to surge forward in its growth figures, while not forgetting the socially responsible role of a corporate individual.

In entirety, I thus believe, that K should be looked as a candidate, who comes with the business toughening offered by a large conglomerate (through his IOC stint), an entrepreneurial urge (that the current GS Group role has nurtured in him), and a rational mind relying always on reason to solve problems (from his IIT education).

An international MBA programme as offered by The Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon University, I believe should not miss out this opportunity to induct a candidate like him into its rolls of students. His perspectives from an emerging economy like India should usher in a symbiotic process -- the school’s rich and diverse student pool benefiting from him as much as Mr M shall from Tepper’s respected training in managerial skills.



A Word about Myself
----
I write this letter in the capacity of being a doctoral student and member of the Carnegie Mellon fraternity -- with a wish that CMU inducts in its rolls, the best of students. Currently, I work with Professor Ashish Arora at the Heinz School researching in issues related to the economics of technological change. Before joining Carnegie Mellon, I was working as a business journalist for a couple of years with India’s leading business daily, The Economic Times, Mumbai, India. This, after I had completed my engineering and management education in India, from the Indian Institute of Technology, Roorkee and the Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta. Please feel free to contact me for any clarifications through an email at chirantan@cmu.edu or a telephone call at 001-412-720-8128.






2 questions:
- am i endowed, or capable of writing a reference letter?
- was i fair and focussed enough in this version, doing justice to the cause!


~i dont think i will ever know!

..2 the mid-day moon..

Every time the moon rose, she prayed.
Finally Wol-nam’s mother, at forty, bore a son.

In dreams before pregnancy,
she swallowed the moon.

After her son was born, Wol-nam’s mother
would lose her mind
without fail
every time the moon rose.

Late at night, washing dishes,
she’d smash one bowl—
the moon then hid in a cloud
and the world grew blind.

- from The Moon, in Korean, by Ko Un.

~this 2 the moon, shining in the middle of a sunny day, today!

..When I am God, Everyone Dies...

Why are some days in life like this -- when one can sense something cooking in the horizon. Well i dont know how to explain this, but probably an unconscious connecting of issues could point to some answers.

So here we go:

a. Last night, after my econometrics class i was mighty tired and wavey. It suddenly dawned on me that i am so damn far away from home, and maa's food that nothing nothing at all can come and give me some solace, in the life i lead. The particular econometrician's work that we were discussing, i learnt later, Abraham Wald had died in a plane crash while visiting India. For death, was it then, that I yearned for Indian food! -- some spicy food -- and resorted to a rather shady version in an Indian restaurant here. Spending $ 8, which to me, a graduate student is a luxury indeed.

b. The night ended with a long sleep, and i again, much to my own disliking over this other self of mine, managed to skip a class in the morning. I dont know, why i am not able to control this rampant other myself! Everytime i do, it gets the better of me, i had fixed an alarm of 8 in the morning to be on time for today's 9 o clock class and yet slept till 1.45 in the afternoon!

c. After that, eating some random stuff, I come out, board a bus, and inside, i find a student wearing this t-shirt titled: it doesnt matter if the curtains doesnt match up to the carpet. Quite anticipatedly, such a line got me thinking, what it could mean, who could be the curtain and who the carpet, and how i could relate it to my own personal life.

d. Alight from the bus, enter the Indian store for my daily single cigarette before school, and there on the TV, i hear this song. The same song, which was the caller tune in her cell phone. I was affected mightily last night, and this song, again, reminded me, that you, if you are reading this, must be thinking about me. Tried i, rather helplessly to control myself, not to buy a calling card to call you, what else could i do?

e. Come out, walk from the Indian store, to school, again i see three things. The time was afternoon, around 3ish, but the moon could be seen in the clear blue sky, though it was a mighty sunny day..I revelled at how it managed to retain its light despite its cosmic counterpart's brightness...My eyes came down, i noted an american old couple, ditching the signal and crossing through, calm confidence in each other's hands, a car breezed through, they peaceful in each other's fingers. I was touched, sighed and walked on to school.

f. Suddenly I found a young chap crossing the streets. Emblazoned, in his back, these following lines.

And they, shall be the lines with which i shall end this post of today..i know i am not, but still cant help but finish with these lines..


~When I am God, Everyone Dies.

...Punjabis and Bengalis...

I believe, there is an uncanny and unexplainable similarity between these two states and its people, speaking here in the Indian context.

The recent movie - Rang De Basanti created some flutters -- but hey, hold on, long back did not tagore write something similar in his song 'Rangiye diye jaao jaao..'

Let me marvel at this connection as they dawn in my personal life too -- here some instances.

a. My roomie, my advisor, is from Punjab. I am offlate starting to like my advisor.
b. Meeting punjabi people around, and they liking me, me liking them too.
c. In nagpur, india, Monty Singh Panesar, makes his debut for England and this article catches my heart, in bengali though.
d. I had been intrigued by Bhajji and Yuvi chemistry with Sourav.
e. Really admire, PM Manmohan Singh.
f. And to end, here you go with a nice limerick, that Vik, my another Punju friend passed me on today...
g. And yes, one of the nicest women i have seen in life, composed, beautiful, aware of herself, is a Punjabi woman in my stint in Times of India..Ms MD. She might have become a Mrs by now though! :)


This quick one, in a day of frequent posting, to the Punju-Bong combination.


Sharif hondi hai khoti,
Inha Whadda lendi
Fer whi Chup raundi

Translated:
--
Decent are those a!@#s,
They take in all the big ones,
Yet stay silent all the time!
--

Ahem, slightly obscene, apologise, it captures many things virtuous too about Bengali and Punjabi women...


~chakdefatte, apologise for the luridity in the above limerick...

...now, skeptical of the Condescending pat....

Being a fellow walker in this world of academia, i can say one thing. We are very weak and gullible to the rosey world of theories.

Dr Singh, prime minister of my home country India, is an erstwhile academic too, having done his PhD in economics with impeccable credentials. But now he is a country's premier, totally in the pragmatics of issues, and here in this pic i can see a vulnerable, could-be fooled self.

Reference to the pic: Times of India cover page story today, on the historic nuclear deal between India and the United States.
Implications: India now acknowledged a de-facto, nuclear state, but why is that not being proclaimed by the US?
Most concerning: The academic in Dr Singh is visible in this photograph, he and his men around might have inked the deal with all the theoretical world of future in which India plays a leadership role in mind, but i hope they are noting Bushy darling here...

I dont like his condescending pat on Dr Singh's shoulders, beware Dr Singh hope you have done your homework ably, the country looks to you for the right steps, in tiptoes or in trotters...

~skepticalofcondescendingpats!:)

..Confessions to Desh Raag..

I dont have much to write, but how today i understood, what a major mistake i have done in life, never having learnt music, rigorously.

I was at the Mellon Institute's auditorium here, the same MI from which our university first started. Regal place, close and warm acoustics, and Arvind was singing a carnatic classical version of Desh raag.

Nobody else was there, we were inspecting the place for a future concert of Spic Macay, and i listened to his voice, trained for 24 years he told me later.

What could be a word to describe a musician's voice, maybe one should not use any word, just treasure the peace and calm it brings to one's mind, listening to it...today i wished, like him getting lost in the music, i could possibly too, had i learnt classical music listening to maa, long back...

Raag Desh it was, and how more than 13 years later, a feeling of guilt envelopes me, on being callous with maa's wish to learn music..

~silence,justthat.

..me & Salsa...

Ok..now, here is a piece of news! If not to anybody, but to myself surely. I am going to learn Salsa....it shall be the LA style on the first beat, level 1, offered by the univ's grad student association, and am going to lead. Details in the mail extracts below!

May god bless my gaunt and awkward, yet suddenly dance-craving soul! :) The above pic shall be changed soon, too!

~Amen..

---------------
Learn to dance
SALSA
Los Angeles Style

Two levels
6 weeks of salsa

Level I: Fridays, 6:30-7:45pm
Mar 3, 10, 17, 24, Apr 7, 14

Level II: Fridays, 7:45-9:00pm
Mar 3, 10, 17, 24, Apr 7, 14

At the UC aerobics room

$20 for CMU Grad Students
$25 for others

Linda Danza, professional instructor
No partner required
First come, first served

To sign up, contact shubhie@gmail.com
Please indicate:
- Level I or Level II
- Lead or follow
- CMU grad student or not
Only requests with complete information will be considered.

SPONSORED BY THE GSA - The Graduate Student's Association.

Limited space, sign up now! :-)

Note: Level II class is for people who have previously completed a Level
I class, or are comfortable and solid doing a cross-body lead.


======================================================================Here are some
further details for you:

DO YOU LEAD OR FOLLOW? Please help me get this right! Send me an email
BEFORE the first class telling me your gender -- I try to guess based on
your name, but it is embarassing when I guess wrong. (I am assuming
that men will be leading and women will be following -- please tell me
if otherwise.) Also, please let me know if you are interested in the
Level 1 or the Level 2 Salsa Dance Class, and whether you are a graduate
student or not. ONLY REQUESTS WITH COMPLETE INFORMATION WILL BE
CONSIDERED.

LIMITED SPACE: Each class is limited to 17 couples. I am creating a
list of people who ask to sign up in the order I receive requests. By
requests I mean the emails you have sent me to ask for a spot. However,
your position is not guaranteed until we receive payment. If you haven't
paid until Thus afternoon, your position may be given to the next person
in line.

PAYMENT: You can pay either by cash or by cheque (preferred) made out to
"Linda Danza Atkins". If you are a CMU grad student, bring your student
ID when you pay to prove it for your $5 discount (thanks to GSA). The
cost is $20 for CMU grad students with a valid student ID, and $25 for
others. If you sign up for both level I and level II classes, you will
be charged for both of them. Please note that there will be NO REFUNDS.

SIGNING UP: There has been an overwhelming amount of interest for this
class. To avoid frustration and long lines at the first class, we ask
people who get a spot to pay by leaving a cheque in my mailbox (Nikos
Hardavellas, Wean Hall 4212). Your last chance to leave the check would
be Thus, Mar 2, at 5pm. Please, do NOT slip checks under the mailroom
door, or hand them to staff. Just enter the mailroom during normal
operational hours, find the mailbox, and deposit the check.

If there are spots left, we'll call people in the waiting list to come
30 minutes earlier than the first class. We will be seating outside the
UC aerobics room, 30 minutes before the start of the first class, and go
through the list from top to bottom, and if you are there when we call
your name you can pay and sign up. We will stop reading names when the
class is full. We will repeat this exercise for the Level II class.
PLEASE be on time -- if you are late, then the class may fill up before
you arrive...

(NOTE: usually there is plenty of space in the Level II class. Tell your
friends!)

If you decide not to join the class but have requested a spot, I would
appreciate it if you could email us and let us know...

=======================================================================Salsa Class FAQ:

1. Do I need to bring a partner? No, you will be rotating partners in
the class.

2. How do I sign up? Send email to shubhie@gmail.com to reserve a spot
in line. If you get a spot in the class, you can pay by depositing a
check in my mailbox (Nikos Hardavellas, Wean Hall 4212). If we don't
receive your check by Thu, Mar 2 at 5pm, your spot is no longer
guaranteed and it may go to the next person in line.

3. Is this class good for beginners? YES! The Level I class is aimed
at beginners.

4. Am I good enough for Level II? If you have taken Linda's Level I
class, then yes, you are. :-) If you have taken lessons elsewhere, and
are comfortable and solid doing a cross-body lead, then you probably
will fit in as well.

5. Do I have to attend all the classes, or can I miss some and still
keep up? You are better off if you can commit to attend all of the
classes -- each class will be building on the material learned at the
previous one. It is also a good idea to try and practice some in
between classes if you can, such as by going out dancing at a club...
:-) (We can tell you fun places to go dancing to try out your new
skills.)

6. Is the price per lesson, or the entire 6 weeks? It is for the
entire 6 weeks.

7. How do I pay? Either cash, or a check (preferred) made out to
"Linda Danza Atkins" is acceptable. If you are a CMU grad student,
bring your student ID to prove it for your $5 discount.

8. What do I bring to class? Wear comfortable clothes (dancing is
exercise, and if you wear jeans you may be too warm), and comfortable
shoes. Shoes with a slippery sole (such as a leather sole or a hard
plastic sole) are preferred to sneakers, since you will be learning how
to spin.

9. What is LA style? It means that the class is taught on the first
beat. This is in contrast to the NY style, which is on the second beat
(Mambo).

10. Can I switch classes after we start? If you find level I too easy
or level II too difficult, you can switch classes provided that there is
space in the other class, and the lead-follow ratio is not too uneven.

======================================================================See you in class!






---------- End Forwarded Message ----------