Today morning Starts at 7.15 .

"Tisn't life that matters! Tis the courage you bring to it".

from the opening lines of Fortitude of Hugh Walpole a ruskin bond childhood favourite.


Sometimes like last night i take a hard look into life. Pains evaporates. Realities crop up, so do fears but then along with that the challenge of surmounting them.

What are the realisations of last night?

a. People look for alibis like cigarettes or women, because they are afraid. Everything here, secretaries, middle men, people on whom you can rely on is inherent to a feudal mindset. Why does one marry apart from companionship? Because as i see it, we have an inner urge to procreate continue our progeny, since we wont be there for ever. Hey, that means you are not confident enough to do in a lifetime what you are sent here to do. Wake up dear, this is not any other life, just one life, as they were saying Jhankar Beats yesterday, 'chance pe dance karna hain'.

b. How have many visionaries like Vivekananda or many others managed to stay alone without a partner? I think that comes from a strong self belief on one's mission and vision. But mission and vision dont come just like that. It comes from an urge to prove to the world around, that however much you might thump me down, i am right on my paths, learning evolving and improving and creating a path for myself to follow and others to follow suit if they like to -- or if they want to.

In continuance of the above two understandings, i realise a strong need of inculcating a discipline in life, a system a process of doing things, staying calm and relaxed as a result because most things in life which are quite trivial can be fitted into that system or process. Let the framework take care for that. Which means things like IT, job, etc can be passed on to the system as you find more time for yourself to focus on your mission and vision of life.

Today morning, infact meeting Rajan was a revelation.

- The meeting gave me a lot of confidence of crystallising long term aims of life dealing with medium term contingencies, and surely clearing up immediate contingencies.
- but the meeting also raised questions in my mind like 'is a woman that important partner of life', that 'unconsciously my smoking has become an involuntary habit for no reason at all', that i am still not confident enough, maybe the scars of some of my pasts are holding me back without any apparent reason.
- it also raised questions like 'whatever i aim to do in my life is a means to an end or an end in itself. what really does that mean, i wonder, ends means arent they all so futile in this life whose birth and death we have no control on? but then i think i am changing a lot, in understanding that i might not have control in my coming and going, but atleast in my living i surely have and there is no reason to loose confidence on that front.


Hard Facts to be Dealt with.

a. Stay put with the end of Innovation project at ET to see the end of it.
b. Sequence your moves like this, manu-report --> Big Leap --> Methodology and Awards --> finally the book which should help me finally in the long run. Conceiving a book is no easy deal, and i might not get this early a break anytime else in life. If the Force above has given me the chance let me give it a serious thought.

b. Finalise universities, LSE-LBS-Insead in Europe, 18 odd from the top 25 for applying in the area of research -- creativity, innovation and entrepreneurship -- be it in a policy school, in business policy, in economics or in journalism school.

c. Send mails to profs and people shortlisting 3 + 7 from the rest.

d. get prepared, life is going to be tough, it would involve independence true, but there would be nobody to rely upon for the next atleast 5 years if not more, no easy phone calls or flights back home, no fish or rice too. Get Up and Get Going for it, Knowing it all....

Remember ....

"Tisn't life that matters! Tis the courage you bring to it".

`thechildwhoisseeingandgettingawareofitall.