Mumbai is raining like crazy....

An attribute of the nature which almost calls me to go out and drench myself. Its been a long time since i have updated my lil space here. Lil because i created this more out of a fascination about this world.

Its just turning out that it will be my best companion in the end.

Long time isnt it. Ashish and Sur came and went and what a jolly good time we had. Its true that inhibitions inculcated in our ordinary individual lives made it difficult to strike base.

But it was real fun sleeping with sur and ashish in the same room. Or talking to them, or they really getting to my head and easing off the pain of loneliness.

The best part was the way i found sur and ashish have developed into their own true selves. Ashish for example genuinely surprised me with the depth of his thoughts. The catch though is although he evoked sentences like "try enjoying your solitude" it seemed quite apparent to both of us, that life for him has been quite difficult.

Smriti gone, and now Aafia too. Desperation creeped into his voice when i mentioned we all learn from our own experiences. How long they both shrieked. Well i too dont know, perhaps i am more a learner than them, nothing satiates me than the feeling of having learnt something new out of any endeavour in life. I always feel so much to learn, so much to see, that even when i die perhaps i will still be a complete novice.


Life has moved on in pretty fast gears in other aspects to. The woman from Jan to July in my life is dissappearing. i can see the back of her fast vanishing car, with no pain, but perhaps relief. Which brings me to the essential question, are relationships not what i really am made for! Is it that being solitary, alone, one the best part i love doing in life.

Tomorrow i will shift to a new house, a completely lonely existence, after having lived for 25 years with somebody or the other in life. I know living alone is tough, but then this should be a good solidifying experience.

There is nothing much else in life these days! Relief is flowing through from sister's end, with her having atlast got some reward for her perseverence. She should get a good college for her masters, about her marriage though i initiated the process, and firmly believe that people should get married early if possible, yet i sometimes shudder at the thought of life in our family without her! She has been the epitome of the other face in our lives...what happens when she goes. like a true elder bro perhaps i will kiss her and wish her luck on the new journey with somebody else in life and then hope that as it normally happens, distancing doesnt occur. But then that is so normal isnt it! nobody remains, for anybody. once sis is gone, the responsibility of staying close to maa and baba shall increase, long term thoughts all of these, but still lifes shaping up for a change, and i the child is going deeper and deeper into hiding.

Emerging in its place is a solid man, whos a man by the way, the one that kipling says or the one who is always a restless learner.


Life is lovely these days. The monsoons are a delicious delight in mumbai, despite the compounding of life and commutation. Somehow they to me are a blessing in this otherwise so humdrumy kind of city.

Perhaps a new watershed in life too! who knows...u the one reading it, me the one writing it, or HIM the one watching it.

The truth is that, "truth sits on the lips of dying men" as mathew arnold said, and for once something in me is dying, something else is taking its place in return.

More later.............

`thegrowingchild.