"Satrangi Re"....

"Poetry is a phantom script, telling how rainbows are made, and why they go away"
~ Carl Sandburg

Tu hi tu, tu hi tu, satrangi re...
Tu hi tu, tu hi tu, man rangi re...

It all started on 28th last month. As days pass, and silence grows, it grows on me, and strengthens me. IT?? What is it. ah, we know what is IT. let us not specify and pollute it, with exact language.

I had forgotten about the date, reminded later on, though i have lived every moment of it through its happening. With myself, as truthfully i could, as fairly as i could, as goodishly as i could, with nobody else, here.

It has been a good living this one. After all cigarettes are gone now! What a momentous gift, she has given to me!!

~ Despite the screams. Silently, in night, on bed.

~ Despite the tears. That welled out, like lost pearls from the myriad corners in the soul.

~ Despite the daily acting. That one keeps doing, living life, attending school, wishing people, travelling places, doing everything that life makes u keep doing, not stopping the clock once. Making you live through it.

Just dont know why or what to whom for what i write all this. But it is time to pray. Maybe that is all i write this for.

To pray for patience. To be hopeful. To love, to endure, plagiarising here, but that is the truth. Endurance, thakuma used to say it, she also says the same thing.

Yes pray. Pray things shall work out fine this summer. Meanwhile some quick updates on life.

> Went to Washington DC.

> Wondered about Bush and White House, how trivial, how unnecessary, power, glory, money, fame, Bush might be having many sleepless nights for all decisions he signs, and never is able to enjoy the serene white house ..something he might have fought for as a politician all his life...

> Had a good time, cooking, chatting with some good people, whom i never knew this closely back at roorkee, but now life gave me an opportunity to savour their company. Shalini, Saurav, Ankur, Nitin, for that matter even Sushir, Nitin's Gujju roommate, a die hard gold digger, but whom i started admiring, despite that.

> Sometimes, i dont know, how some people, are so focussed about what they want in life. They JUST KNOW IT. Be it money. Be it power. Be it to be here in the US. Be it anything. Maybe i envy them, maybe i have to learn from them, how to put your mind off other things, and put it all on that One thing.

> Who will make that One thing dawn on you. Shall it be from outside, or from within you!

> By the way, becoming American, i guess. Watched Superbowl. Cheered Pittsburgh Steelers, as India played out pakistan in Peshawar. A shock, Shalini noticed it first, and me was shocked. At one of Nitin's friend's places, an Indian - with a hanging American Flag. Patriotism, or Hypocrisy! Acting sucks bigtime!!!

> Everybody tells me, be a bit, diplomatic. To get things in life. For what, i wont take anybody, anything with me. Hence, Never in my personal life. NEVER WILL I BE diplomatic.

> Shall be ruthlessly honest, to everybody around me. If words are to be spoken that is it. Or else shall be searingly silent. That is it. My pledge, my way of living my LIFE.


Take it, or you can walk on, i will too. As we all have been doing, so many years in history, we all have been doing...with the Satrangi watching and directing ....

From outside of us..from within us..

> Quite a enchanting movie, Rang De Basanti....and the experience of watching it, trillion miles from home, in an Indian theatre, with all indians, shouting Jai hind and all fake cries...

So signing off, to, Life or all that is left of it, my dear satrangi...Sandburg is so right. So precise.

so long..

~am i still the quiet child! :)