An Unknown Poem

My Stubbled Fields Are Silent
My stubbled fields are silent -- sea gull, why do
you cry in pain?
Yea, I've sung a song of threshing time and the
golden swell,
Of the thresher who shall come,
Of the tiller-man gone out to plough,
Of the sun that strikes him, a bright crown of light.

Yea, I've begun a song of calm -- whose shadow
has darkness cast,
Fly sea gull, white of wing -- would you see my
brother at sea,
Descend to the mast and say: Harvest-time is
nearly done.

In my fields the dirt-clods cry,
And I shall sow in them once more --
This time, too, this time again, sad will be this
song of mine.

-- Author Unknown.

2 the bee in Avani...

The Bee Box

In this small box, my love,
you'll not find a ring, but instead,
a brave little bee.
He'll be dead by morn,
having given his life defending his flowers
against me.
I felt his sting while picking the small,
purple pansies growing wild along the roadside,
in hopes of an afternoon bouquet for you.
And I grieved the sting, more for him than me,
knowing full well the price he paid for my small pain.
And I allowed him his victory,
leaving his flowers as a memory,
and brought you instead this brave little bee,
who proves there is love even in the smallest of things

- amen.

"Senorita with a Necklace of Tears"

Ohhh...what a thrill and joy in discovering a song which is sung for me...the loveliest way to end a week...
amen...to this song by paul simon...


Senorita with a Necklace of Tears
---
I have a wisdom tooth
Inside my crowed face
I have a friend who is born again
Found his savior's grace
I was born before my father
And my children before me
We are born and born again
Like the waves in the sea
That's the way it's always been
And that's how I want it to be

Nothing but good news
There is a frog in South America
Whose venom is a cure
For all the suffering that mankind
Must endure
More powerful than morphine
And soothing as the rain
A frog in South America
Has the antidote to pain
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way I like it

Some people never say no
Some people never complain
Some folks have no idea
And others will never explain
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way I like it
And that's how I want it to be
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way I like it
And that's how I want it to be

If I could play all the memories
In the neck of my guitar
I'd write a song called
"Se?orita with a necklace of tears"
And every tear a sin I'd committed
Oh these many years
That's who I was
That's the way it's always been

Some people always want more
Some people are what they lack
Some folks open a door
Walk away and never look back
I don't want to be a judge
And I don't want to be a jury
I know who I am
Lord knows who I will be
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way I like it
And that's how I want it to be
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way I like it
And that's how I want it to be
----

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Reluctance

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

~Robert Frost.

The Rose.....

I can see you mother earth how you cried when the rain treated you casually,
And vanished from your world after hours of walking together and years of sharing jokes

I can see you mother earth you erecting a wall around yourself,
And changed yourself from the bubbly girl to one more serious and not-wanting of friends

I can see you mother earth how you have still not been able to come across it all,
the way everything ended, the way you gave it all, and somebody treated it like a rag,

I can see you mother earth that perhaps you cry inside, and wish
the tear drop finds its deserved place under the sun,

I can see you mother earth that you have been a rose, now wilting under the sun
And how desperately you yearn for some moisture, to soften your burning core

I am nobody but perhaps the wind, who sweeps your surface, eroding layer by layer
hoping to reach your core, just to reach the tear-drop, not to own it, not to flood it,
But just to hold it with me and carry it along as i blow along in a prayer...

Lately I've been trying to fill up my days since you're gone....

Have opened my doors of life again. To people and women. Trying to get back to myself, the one of yore, who feared not to get weak, or shed a tear or two.

Will the arms of hope surround me?
Will time be a fairweather friend?
Should I call out to angels,
Or just drink myself sober again?
I can't hide, it's true.

Bricks however are all that remain. The soft mud the clay has dissappeared...and i am still looking for you. Many a times i feel like leaving it all, shedding it all, and giving you a ring. Apologise, apologise and apologise and apologise more if any actions of mine hurt you. To say to you, that i will be with you, unconditionally, you give me nothing and still you will find me there around you.

I would have done it, you know what, if you are reading this piece. But i cant. I just dont want to create any ruffles in your life. Just get easy, drive at a constant pace down the highway, no acceleration, no decceleration, you deserve it for your years of stolid showing, glancing past dishonest men, and praying that perhaps landing with a honest one in the end as a husband.

The speed of love is blinding,
And I didn't know how to hold on.
My mind won't clear.
I'm out of tears.
My heart's got no room left inside.

Are you reading this Mimosa? Just dont know and so easy isnt it. I hope you do since you do know my address of this blog. However i do know you are forgetful enough to have erased it from your memory. To have completely removed me from your life when you took the flight or train out of mumbai to your now new city. The city which you often told me gave you your love, the city where you are completely at peace. May you find loads of that dearest....

For me, well my days of leaving this place are dawning. About 29 days more to go, yday i also got my train booked. Travelling back to cal, on a train should be good. When was the last time i did a long journey on Indian railways. I infact also have thought about listening to select tracks as the trains poo-poos its way outside of Mumbai.

The city, which gave me a lot. A lot indeed. So what some of it was painful and resulted in a learning in the end. So what i shall leave having unmasked people's faces, in the process of loosing some good close ones whom i had thought to be close to me. They never were, now they never will be.

Mumbai is casting its parting cover on me and the feel of it is warm and soggy, i am getting drenched a time should come when i can shed a tear or two perhaps as well.

I have started looking for you, or shoud i say your shades again. But thats life, neither could you stop, or stopped, neither can i, i wont. Have just a few questions to end this one with...

How many dreams will end?
How long can I pretend?
How many times will love pass me by,
Until I find you again?


And let me say, to you...I pray you read this...
I still burn for you.
Your memory just won't let me go.
I'd hold you tighter,
Closer than ever before.
No flame would burn brighter,
If I could touch you once more,
Hold you once more!


Lately I've been trying to fill up my days since you're gone....will you pray for me that i do get somebody...