The Religion of the Setting Sun....

I guess, evenings have no religion, and neither does the setting sun...they are of the same character, they worship they same idols, in whichever part of the globe you reside in.

And in the setting, evenings in the drowning sun bring in an element of loneliness, a feeling of retrospection. "the day is over, the weekend or perhaps the nights if its a weekday, beckons. its time to wind up and head back home."

Such is the time, when now about a fortnight since i have been here, i start to write a post, long time after i have done anything such for quite some time now.

And as ever i will stick to those moments which have struck my heart at its deepest core, those moments which i know will come back to me, in life, since they have left their fingerprints on my soft muddy heart.

Here are some such ever since:

~ The landing at the JFK airport, and just before that, for a couple of hours, crossing the Atlantic, it dawned on me suddenly and surely that i am far away from home at all, and at last. I dont know if that was a result of any aspiration or a general script my life is following, but for that moment when the wheels of the Air India flight touched this country's land, i felt like crying out, for people i left back home, the corners left alone in their loneliness, the streets i left looking at me, as i left them all and boarded this climb up onto the sky to head here, the land of as many are saying to me, 'milk and honey'.

~The next stop, and this one, continues for a sometime, comes through the realisation that most things in this country are just the opposite of how i am used till date in life. The switches turn down, puts off the light, the lanes walking on the right is the rule and so for the vehicles, the door knobs turned clockwise opens into the room and many such small things...as i get an embracing into these rules of life here, i fear that going back, i might again some time in getting back to life in my home country's ways...i fear that perhaps this land will give me my heart back, and as chandru told me in calcutta, will i again be left rueing the fact that i left my home and went back from where my heart is. ...i dont know...i really dont know, but how i wish i did...

~landing at JFK - the John F Kennedy airport, was an experience in itself. It might not be too immaturish to comment on it this way, but despite my little experience of Mumbai's chaos, JFK came in with its stamp of dominance. The innumerable other airlines stacked out one after one at the landing area...the faces, this was one huge veritable mix of cultures and nations...i knew, then there, despite whatever i have faced till date, life is going to be different from here on...

~I cant forget her, and if i do, i would not be able to thank her for what she did. I dont know her name, Nafisa, let me call her that for the time being. She was the Pakistani lady manning one of the counters at the La Guardia airport from where i was supposed to take my flight to pittsburgh from new york. And while i scruffed around as to how to call in my mashimoni and friend saurav, from nyork to tell them of my schedules of arrival, it was Nafisa who lent her mobile, allowing me to make a call to my friend for scheduling the pick up. Thanks dear, i pray may god bring a lot of smiles to your faces...so far away from home..

~I ride in a small cocker kind of a plane from n-york and arrive at pittsburgh, see saurav, this friend of mine, of which i dont know how i will really speak of in how much glowing terms...see him in the airport with mashimoni and meshomoshai and dolondi...and go through a complete blackout. Till date, life was like, where am i, and then the moment i saw them, there am i was the feeling...a complete abject surrender i guess...

~My friend L or that is an obscene nickname for his real name Anant, told me, and so truly, that 'you always remember your first journey'. The faces you meet, the experiences you have, the feelings and turmoil you go through in your mind and heart...So true, so real.....as one can perhaps guess from the above, summarised, yet lengthy delineation, that it indeed was so...

~Next few days start a series of meeting new people around in campus, and in pittsburgh..people and friends like saurav and shalini, himanshu and abhishek, people whom i knew sketchily and this ride of mine made me know them better and the good souls hidden behind them....know of my professors, ashish and rahul and stephen and david, and lowell what an infectious microeconomics character he is, and george the sleepy stats prof who dons a garb of poetry and philosophy but in my eyes, he rather had not done so....and then my fellow students in the various stages of graduate student life....starting from anand, irene, samita, gaurav, surendra, vipul, sameer, claudia, leonardo, dan and bin and nakemura, oh.,..what a rhyme in those names....offcourse how can i forget the stray spic macay meeting too...abr, saudamini, srinivas, and other such....

~let me not forget my roommate now, saurabh, seems a good simple guy....lets c how he finally turns up to be.


~ what else to chronicle on, there are stuff i could chronicle on the university campus, but i suppose i have gotten used to facilities and campuses in life, so they dont come as any surprise to me...but i love the fact that there are a plethora of libraries in this small city and as a student u have access to each one of them...some day soon, having made a round of the pittsburgh arts and culture scene i will try to come up with another post as well...

~as of now, courses are good, research i am still not sure of if i am in the rights hands of the right professor...i will let that be where it is...getting a lil tired...

ah, now i got it...the religion of the setting sun, the drowning days, and the impending evenings....tired eyes, a feeling of reclinement i guess..which prays only one sentences in its heart i believe...'give me some rest and soft sleep'....


tk care, love, i will be back..and offcourse how can i not leave a poem for you..till i am back again..

`thechild..



Long Dead

I know no feeling
no pain nor joy
what happiness I find
I will destroy...

It gives me no future
leaves me no past
eating my love for life
and mine will not last...

Longtime ago when
my mind could spin
to think, love & inspire
dreams much too long-win..

Dead to all in many ways
can't see nor hear
facilities far too far gone
for far to many years...

Now Tears In Rain